Solutions

My first instinct to pull together quick cash is to list all my valuables on eBay.  After a quick inventory, I decide that my baseball cards and comic books have not suddenly appreciated beyond worthless.  On to plan B which will probably take longer and be downright agonizing.

Step 1 – Sell out.  After stiff negotiations with the moving company that will remain unnamed, I can sign a release statement that relinquishes my rights to formally complain about their service in any form of media for $300.   I wanted significantly more, but should consider this a victory since they really didn't want to offer more than $90 initially.  While part of me wants to tell them where to shove their money and shout from the rooftops what a lousy company they are, the other part of me really wants a new bike and needs money for it.  Not great.  Not even good, but it's a start.  I decide to take the deal. 

Step 2 – Stop eating.  Actually, stop eating out.  As part of our monthly budget, I get $50 to spend however I would like.  I have yet to accurately calculate how much my wife allots herself monthly.  My gut feel is that it is a little more than my 50.   Once again, don't rock the boat.  Just stay focused.  Generally, my full monthly amount (plus a little extra) goes to funding weekday lunches.  I’ve become a usual at a couple of places across the street from my office.  While Panda Express and Subway will probably miss my patronage, I will not miss the extra calories and I can add $50 a month to my bike fund.

Step 3 – Quit the gym.  I know this sounds counterproductive from my overall goal of getting in better shape, but right now the only exercise I am getting is lugging around my gym lanyard and key card around in my pocket.  Not exactly the "complete package" workout I was promised.  I add another $35 a month to the bike fund by dropping my membership.  It has to be done in person.  Be strong and don't let them talk you into renewing for extra features at a higher price.  Although, I do have to take a moment to bid a certain someone farewell ... So long my sweet sauna.  It was a wonderful affair while it lasted!

Step 4 – Perform a couple of minor medical procedures.  This is not as shady as you might think.  Full disclosure: I work for a medical practice and I legally and ethically perform voice restoration procedures for head and neck cancer patients.  I also teach a course with a colleague training other professionals how to perform this procedure.  This course is offered every other month and we have one scheduled for August and another for October.  I can put part of my earnings from the course into the bike fund.  Hello $$$. 

Step 5 – Talk someone into given me a crazy deal on a bike.  This is where all those hours practicing using “the force” deemed useless by my mother come in handy.  One quick Jedi mind trick on some weak-minded bike salesman and I’m in business.  Once I have the money of course.  Realistically, it will probably be someone working magic for me instead of the other way around.  I’ll probably call my buddy Charles who has serious connections and see what happens. 

If all goes according to plan (like that is going to happen), in a few short (agonizingly long) months, I will be the new owner of a shiny, pedal-less road bike (still have to figure out how to fund accessories like pedals, shoes, sleek outfit, etc).

Also - Congrats to Alexander Vinokourov for taking gold today in the Olympic Road Race.  What a way to finish a career!

My hear goes out to Taylor Phinney.  So close to the podium and a medal.  Still proud of you for 4th! 

Oversight

I might have jumped the gun on launching this site and gearing up for this lifestyle change by overlooking one basic fact: I do not currently own a bike.  The short version as to why is that we recently moved from the East to the Midwest.  I owned a bike when we loaded all of our belongings onto a truck in North Carolina.  When we settled into Indiana and all of our belongings arrived, I was no longer the owner of a bicycle.  It seems that it was “lost” somewhere in between here and there.  I have my suspicions.  More to come on this later. 

There is a silver lining to this misfortune.   My previous ride was a mountain bike and I have reached a stage where I need a road bike to accomplish my cycling goals.  So, instead of having to justify dropping serious cash on a new road bike in addition to maintaining my mountain bike, I can play the sympathy card with my wife for having my old bike stolen.  Um, I mean lost.  So far, it has worked and she is on board with the plan to reinvent, re-energize, and reinvigorate myself.  And why wouldn’t she be? A slimmer, trimmer, more energetic me has benefits for her as well.  I have been informed that there will not be more to come on this later.  

 

Back to the problem at hand:  I have no bike… and no money.   Another small detail overlooked.  After reviewing the family finances I have found the reason that my wife keeps the books.  We have little discretionary money and it seems that anything left over after bills, kids, food, etc is quickly rerouted and used for one of dozens of projects to “beautify” our home.  After deciding that a happy marriage and comfortable home are more important to me than prosecuting my wife for improper use of funds, I realize that I am on my own. 

Inaugural

For years, my wife has tried to convince me to start a blog.  "You could write about your opinions on world issues," she says "your thoughts, your ideas, your stances."  In her opinion, it would be good for me to fling my musings into cyberspace and see what might bounce back.  While I agree that writing itself would benefit me, I do not share her optimistic assumption that anything would echo from my inevitable ranting.  So, for years, I have declined to enter the blogosphere and reassured myself that I would pick my writing back up one of these days when I have some free time.  I always seem to be a day away from starting my great American novel.

The same is true for exercise.  For years, the idea of starting a consistent workout routine has been appealing, but three children quickly consume every second of time that seems available.  I've put off workouts chalking it up to being a "good dad."  However, as I watch my midsection grow and my stamina shrink I can no longer kid myself.  I'm worried about my health and know that I need to change certain habits soon before I reach the point of no return called indifference.

So, as a solution to both my writing and exercise dilemmas, I am dedicating myself to a passion that I have had for a long time, but have had an on again, off again relationship with - bicycling.   Finally, I am taking my wife's advice (imagine that) and start this blog as a way to excite myself, chart my progress and hold myself accountable.  The idea is to get on again and stay in the saddle this time and document the heck out of it.  Oh, it is worth mentioning that I don't currently own a bicycle.  That will need to be at the top of the goal list.

Ok.  Here I go.  I'm back on again (mentally at least) and hopefully I stay this time.